One of the more successful commercials during this year’s Super Bowl was the Dodge Ram “Farmer” commercial. I have embedded it after the jump. The commercial runs for 2 minutes and at $3.8 million for a 30 second spot, that can add up. The original Paul Harvey reading goes:
And on the 8th day God looked down on his planned paradise and said, “I need a caretaker.” So, God made a farmer.
God said I need somebody to get up before dawn and milk cows and work all day in the fields, milk cows again, eat supper and then go to town and stay past midnight at a meeting of the school board. So, God made a farmer.
I need somebody with strong arms. Strong enough to rustle a calf, yet gentle enough to deliver his own grandchild. Somebody to call hogs, tame cantankerous machinery, come home hungry and have to wait for lunch until his wife is done feeding and visiting with the ladies and telling them to be sure to come back real soon…and mean it. So, God made a farmer.
God said “I need somebody that can shape an ax handle, shoe a horse with a hunk of car tire make a harness out of hay wire, feed sacks and shoe scraps. And…who, at planting time and harvest season, will finish his forty hour week by Tuesday noon. Then, pain’n from “tractor back”, put in another seventy two hours. So, God made a farmer.
God had to have somebody willing to ride the ruts at double speed to get the hay in ahead of the rain clouds and yet stop on mid-field and race to help when he sees the first smoke from a neighbor’s place. So, God made a farmer.
God said, “I need somebody strong enough to clear trees, heave bails and yet gentle enough to tame lambs and wean pigs and tend the pink combed pullets…and who will stop his mower for an hour to mend the broken leg of a meadow lark. So, God made a farmer.
It had to be somebody who’d plow deep and straight…and not cut corners. Somebody to seed and weed, feed and breed…and rake and disc and plow and plant and tie the fleece and strain the milk. Somebody to replenish the self feeder and then finish a hard days work with a five mile drive to church. Somebody who’d bale a family together with the soft strong bonds of sharing, who’d laugh and then sigh…and then respond with smiling eyes, when his son says he wants to spend his life “doing what dad does”. So, God made a farmer.
The modified version for a SysAdmin reads:
And on the 8th day God looked down on his planned paradise and said, “I need a caretaker.” So, God made a sysadmin.
God said I need somebody to get up before dawn and check backups and work all day in the 50 degree server room, check backups again, eat lunch and then go to corporate HQ and stay past five at a mandatory meeting with the higher ups. So, God made a sysadmin.
I need somebody with strong arms. Strong enough to wrestle a UPS into its rack, yet gentle enough to plug a hot molex connector into a CD drive without shorting the server and creating downtime. Somebody to call vendors, tame cantankerous coils of cat 5e, come home hungry and have to wait for dinner until his ramen is hot and his minecraft server is updated. So, God made a sysadmin.
God said “I need somebody that can shape bandwidth, get a disc out of an unpowered cd tray with a bit of a paperclip, make a smartphone dock out of alligator clips, rubber bands and pencils. And…who, at upgrade time and virus season, will finish his forty hour week by Tuesday noon. Then, pain’n from “browsing wrist”, put in another seventy two hours. So, God made a sysadmin.
God had to have somebody willing to push a cart at double speed to get the battery backups in ahead of the rain clouds and yet stop in the middle of the hall, whip out his smartphone, and race to help when he sees the first downvote from a friend’s OC post. So, God made a sysadmin.
God said, “I need somebody strong enough to clear racks, heave rails, and yet gentle enough to clear paper jams and dust old pcs and tend the doe eyed users…and who will stop his work for an hour to click through pictures of cats on the internet. So, God made a sysadmin.
It had to be somebody who’d tunnel deep and straight…and not use duplicate passwords. Somebody to clear the cache, avert a crash,…and reboot and repeat and and reboot and repeat and ask the users over and over “Have you tried turning it off and on again?”. Somebody to replenish the raid array and then finish a hard days work with a five mile drive to microcenter. Somebody who’d put a personal media library together with the soft strong bonds of sharing, who’d laugh and then sigh…and then respond with smiling eyes, when when the users ask “So is the server down?” So, God made a sysadmin.
Full credit: gifforc on Reddit
