Talk about your painful videos. In this video embedded after the jump, new hires by CISCO made this parody of Jay-Z’s 99 Problems. They subbed in the word ‘switch’ and other networking terms along Cisco inside terminology to change the song. I’d actually recommend skipping this video but it was too bad to pass up sharing.
The group of new hires at cisco were told to make a parody music video for fun. This is what our young talent is doing and having fun at it!
Music sound from 99 problems by jay z (not claiming ownership of this)
Lyrics by Doug Sibley
Performed by: Kenny Hicks, Scott Moore, Brian Meade, Aaron Sampliner, Frank DeNofa, Matt Brown
Edited By Corbin Chase~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~LYRICS~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
INTRO (Matt Brown): If you’re havin’ loop problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a switch ain’t one.VERSE 1 (Frank DeNofa):
I got the SPAN patrol on the LAN patrol
Sales wanna make sure my CAP is closed
Customers sayin’ ‘he’s working too slow’
I’m from the TAC what type of facts are those?
If you grew up with holes in your CatOS code
You’d celebrate the minute you got 15-0
I’m like Enable Secret, now your pass is hash code
If you don’t like my commands you can just type no
Got beef with CPU if I don’t keep it low
I don’t pass review, gotta talk with Cho
NAT maps try pass my traffic fast
So customers can PAT to avoid IP caps
I don’t know what you take me as,
Or understand the intelligence GTC has
I’ve gone from hubs to switches, son, I ain’t’ done
I got 99 problems but a switch ain’t one
Ping meCHORUS (Scott Moore)
99 problems but a switch ain’t one
If you’re havin’ loop problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a switch ain’t one
Ping meVERSE 2 (Kenny Hicks IV, Aaron Sampliner):
The year’s 2012 and my trunks are raw
In my rear view mirror is a monster of a call
Got two choices y’all pull out of the queue or
Refresh on the double put the button to the flow
Now I ain’t tryin to see no high pri(ority) with Chase
So they won’t take the dollars out my HSA
So I pass over the WebEx ball
I heard ‘Son do you know what I’m pinging you for?’
Cause I’m young and I’m TAC and my backlog’s low
Do I look like a mind reader CIN, I don’t know
Got someone on the phone or should I guess some mo’?
Well I saw on C3 you was working a P4
We got this guy on hold, can you take the call?
Are you eating at your desk I know a lot of you are
I ain’t requein’ this all my cases legit
“Well, do you mind if I look around the queue a lil’ bit
Well my team-lead’s at lunch and escalation ain’t back
And I know best practice so you gonna need a contract for that
“Aren’t you sharp as a TAC, you some kind of expert or something
“Or somebody important or somethin’?”
Nah, I ain’t passed route switch but I know a little bit
Enough that you won’t see me hose a production switch
“We’ll see how smart you are when the BINGOs come”
I got 99 problems but a switch ain’t one
Ping meCHORUS:
99 problems but a switch ain’t one
If you’re havin’ loop problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a switch ain’t one
Ping me99 problems but a switch ain’t one
If you’re havin’ loop problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a switch ain’t oneVERSE 3 (Brian Meade):
Once upon a time, not too long ago
A caller rang saying his networks slow
Now this ain’t slow in the sense of latency
But the network had no sense to trust DSCP
I tried to ignore him and talk to IND Core
Priority 4, some questions are such a bore
You know the type, call in from on-site
But couldn’t tell a port from an LED lightThe only thing that’s gonna happen is interface start flappin’
He and his boys gon’ be yappin’ to escalattin’
And his case gonna get TRAPPED in the queue again
Back through the system to the same crew again
Same guy on the phone asking more questions again
Managers ping “when’s the case gonna end”
DSE’s talking ’bout “way back when”
60 days in my log and I can’t comprehend
All because this call will come back again
Customer’s problem will still happen again
But ain’t nothing sweet ’bout how I close a P1
I got 99 problems but a switch ain’t one
Ping meCHORUS (Group):
99 problems but a switch ain’t one
If you’re havin’ loop problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a switch ain’t one
Ping me99 problems but a switch ain’t one
If you’re havin’ loop problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a switch ain’t one
Ping meIf you’re havin’ loop problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a switch ain’t one